March 27, 2006

Please take me home!!

3 months passed by... 3 months with all it's nights and days... and in theory I'm back home... but missing home.

How on God's name can you stablish the real location of home, when in different places, you have left pieces of you?

Family and friends in both places, a wonderful life in both places, a very annoying feeling of missing something in any of the places... and all I know is that it will be impossible to put everything together... ever!!

Of course I try to seize the best of any of "my" spaces, but this mind game is already getting on my nerves. Not to mention my mind and my little hearth.

Back in the land of the overwelming mountains, the generous weather and where I don´t have to think half an hour in order to build a logical sentence... This is my Language!

Away from the cheese, the snow, the ridiculous amount of doves, the seagulls in the middle of the city, the spring, the tulips, the smell of weed in any street at any time of the day, the bicycles (yes, yes... the bicycles) and any attempt to improve my Dutch.

Theory says I should be at ease, and kind of happy of being back among my people where, after all and all, are all my roots and my closest acquaintances. But anyone knows that theory is one thing.... Reality is just a bitch with a PMS who found out she was cheated on!!

Let´s see how this develops... has been hard and painful, but has to be overcome.

In the meantime, the last 48 hours have given me some hope.... I had a great time with the guys who I actually really missed... so let´s see!!

You´ll hear from me.... believe me... you will!!